my husbands insecurity and pain from past marriage is destroying our marriage help?

You have to sleep in the bed you made, guess ya didn't wait long enough to see the issues coming before marriage, bet it seemed like a good idea at they time

Sounds like your husband could benefit from some counsel ling....sometimes it helps just to talk to a professional.

Being that you did not bother to provide any details about this insecurity or pain, how do you expect anyone here to give you any meaningful advice???

HM...its not the case only with divorcees but boyfriends too...
so the way out is...give a listening ear...but if he starts comparing u with his ex wife...do not simply start fighting...in fact don't even talk bout it when he cools down...prepare a yummy meal for him...talk bout nice things that make him happy ...he'll be expecting some defense from Ur side...Ur defense is Ur composure...works wonders...

Please consider talking with him about getting some counseling. At least for him. He needs someone to talk with about what happened in his previous marriage, and how it's effecting him, and this marriage. I wish the two of you the best. Take care.

Seek counseling and help for you and for this marriage. Your husband needs counseling and help for his past as well to heal and get over it. Did he marry you on the rebound if i may ask?

can you say counseling?

What are the real problems? please IM me and we can talk about it if you would like.

Hi. So sorry to hear about your marriage. Unfortunately, this is not a problem you can solve by yourself. It has to be a combined joined effort..you and your husband. He has to realize that not all marriages or people are the same. Even though the layout can be the same, the situations vary. He has to try and put the past behind him and look to the present with positivity. Its understandable that there are things that are unforgettable (and you have to understand this), especially if there was a lot of pain involved, but that is the past. The future can be beautiful and it is a shame that it should be split by the past.
You should reassure him at all times. NEVER mentioned his ex-wife even in a hot argument. The temptation is great to say things like "no wonder your ex....." in a very heated situation but bite your tongue. Tell him that you are not her and show him that you love him. Sometimes its not so much the things we say but what we can do. Actions speak louder than words and this is very true.
Understand his pain. If you have had past boyfriends, think of one you really loved....think of the pain when that relationship broke and how you felt with your new relationships after that. failing marriages can be very painful and degrading, be patient.

If all else fails why don't you try marriage therapy. Some men are reluctant to go but you can go on your own, show him that you want to save your marriage at all costs...one day he may hitch up with you, you never know.

I hope I have helped something.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope that you can solve your marriage and live happily ever after. We all deserve it.
Good luck!! Jamidami

Tell him you're not the ex and if he keeps this up, you will be.

deal with it slowly..with maturity and tact...