HELP. Marriage advice from MARRIED People!...what to do when I love my husband but he makes me feel like sh*t?

You should read the book:
Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward
and see if it is relative to your situation.

I felt like you did for many years. and it finally slid
into complete depression. Had I known what was
happening to me years ago, I could have confronted it
and done something about it. but now it may be too late
because I've lost my feelings of love for my husband and
I only like him as a room-mate now.

if you like this life stay.

hi, i can understand you and your pain. leaving him or giving divorce makes no sense at all.
the better way i can suggest u that give him space.
don't run after him too much. the more you will go after hm, he will run from u.
don't show him Ur extra care and affection, always remain normal.because he taking you for granted. the way he always remains normal with u, u should also be in Ur self.
be independent.
try to live your life.
try to find happiness in every thing.
care your child and make him happy always as your priority should be your child's bright and good future.
if Ur hubby doesn't likes u share with him or talk or any thing. so for the Aime being you start to remain in Ur self. because in one day u can't change anything and it's been 8 years, u r adjusting with him on his bets.
i can only feel as he has taken u for granted and he knows Whit ever he ll do to u, still u ll always love him and would run behind him.
so care him, but in a normal way and in your heart but don't over show. so that he can realize your worth, that u also need his admiratio and support and love.
be calm, and don't be depressed. all ll be fine but it ll take time, but u need to make ur own identity and dignity but as a very loving mum and loving wife as u hv child too. i can feel that u r a very nice lady, but this feeling needs to be admired by ur husband then only marriage is worth.
so don't panic, no cry. just be happy and enjoy ur life. and never cry in front of him, don't show him ur weaknesses. be strong. show him if he has no matters or grudges with anything then nothing matters to
u also. but we r married for 8 years and have to live and respect eachother for the sake of our child. so that ur relationsip doesn't puts any bad effect on ur child.
trust me, it will really help u.
enjoy ur home,ur life.

You have to look at it his way. Life is way too short to live like this. Why take all that emotional abuse. You'd be better off on your own. At least you'd have peace of mind. Take care.

People get out of a marriage what they put in most times. What have you put in? What has he? Figure that out and if at the end the objective isn't the same.......GET OUT OF IT!

Consider looking for outside help. A counselor certified in couples counseling. Or, a weekend retreat with follow up.

Look into the following site.

http://marriagebuilders.com/

Dr. Harley has some very good books.
"His Needs, Her Needs"
"Fall in Love, Stay in Love"

You can read the articles on the site about meeting one an others emotional needs. Obviously, your husband doesn't 'get' that you have them also and that some of his behavior hurts and destroys that love.

Or, another weekend program that some have found helpful:

http://www.retrouvaille.org/

Most likely, your husband will resist seeking this help. I had to buy the cassette version of the book and just demand that my Husband listen. I had to stand behind my demands that something be done when we hit a crisis point years ago.

Time for plan B, as just waiting for him to make changes himself isn't working.

You need to find a good marriage counselor. He shouldn't be making you cry and then giving you crap for it. That's emotional abuse, and you deserve better than that! I don't care how much you love him, you've got to love yourself more. Don't you think you deserve to not cry just because he feels like being a jerk? Don't you think you deserve to not be made fun of because you do cry? And don't you want a better example for your child? If you have a son, he's going to think it's okay to treat a woman the way your husband treats you. And I KNOW that, if your child is a girl, you wouldn't want her feel that it's perfectly normal for a man to treat her that way! Would you?

Unfortunately, you are asking this question 9 years too late. However, what you can try is to sit him down and talk to him. Do this in a non-confrontational way, at a time that things are calm and do it at the kitchen table or in the living room. Explain to him how he effects you, and what you want him to do.

Other than that, you married him, and are the mother of his child, and he was YOUR CHOICE. Find a way to live with him. Just tell yourself when he does or says something that you do not like "I asked for this, and now I am getting it."

I wish you well.
Regards,
Dan

PS When you see a young gal on this board talking about her boyfriend being like this, jump in and tell her about your life and what you would recommend to her.

Who hasn't had those times when you have a row with yr partner and start having all kinds of thoughts about leaving them and being better off alone, etc, but normally you both calm down and make up, it's just part of being in a relationship you both care about - if neither of you wanted to stay together then why argue all the time, just walk. If the bad times are outweighing the good times then you've a tough decision to make, but if the bad times are just now and again then surely that's just a normal marriage?