Relationship Advice?

Amanda · #1 (**permalink**) 12-15-2008, 09:32 PM

I have been dating my boyfriend for 18 months now and I love him so much. But I feel he doesn't appreciate me or love me to his full potential. In the beginning and I guess this is every relationship he was wonderful. Now hes changed so much hes very lazy, creating anger issues for himself, and just isn't the same person I feel in love with. I do everything for him and I don't think he understands how good he has it with me. I always cook him wonderful very time consuming meals, I try to be creative and make him cards, picture, I'm always thinking of new ways to try to"WOW"him.. I could go on but pretty much I care for him so much. And he tells me that anyone can cook and anyone can do the stuff that I do.. it really hurts me because I love him so much and I'm not benefiting from this relationship and he never listens or understands or lives up to how he is. Its ridiculous and so confusing. I just want some advice on how I can kind of trick him or ways to get him to understand.And I've tried talking to him about I feel MANY of times. He just thinks he doesn't do anything wrong which is a problem I don't understand what is wrong with him. I always tell him that if you love someone you will do anything for them you will always take that extra step plus another one because seeing the people you love happy should make you happy. Maybe I'm just too caring and compassionate for him.. this is so stupid.. hes changed so much hes so stubborn and lazy I'm sick of it. He bends for people who don't even care about him but the people that do he won't really strive to do stuff for them. Please help any reverse psychology I can use or anything along thoes lines?And I don't know if this relevant or not but I'm 16 and hes 17.theres so many other factors that I want advice on in this relationship but they are too long to type on here.. If anyone has AIM or myspace or something and is willing to leave it so I can contact you for advice I would greatly appericate it.

Elusive · #2 (**permalink**) 12-17-2008, 04:40 AM

seeing how you've already made the attempt to talk to him many times, and seeing how he's not appreciative of the things you do for him, its time to think about the future of this relationship. i don't really want to sound mean or anything, but to me, it doesn't seem that anything is going to change, unless he has a life-changing experience that will make him grateful for everything that he has.its not fair for you to always be giving...he also has to give toothe obvious answer, to me anyways, is to end it. its not healthy for the both of you. you've put too much into it, but you also have to get something back, and unfortunately thats not happening.if you reallly really really want to be with him (although i'd go against it), you could keep trying to reason with him, make compromises, or you could also stop"giving"altogether...make him appreciate what he has by taking it away from him. if that doesn't work and he is still unreceptive, then you know what to do thenwishing you the best of luck!

kleit21 · #3 (**permalink**) 12-17-2008, 09:30 PM

You need to read"Why Men Love Bitches"by Sherry Argov and stop cooking for him!

tishie · #4 (**permalink**) 12-17-2008, 10:03 PM

try to give him space.. that way he'll miss you..