New Relationship AdviceLove is in the air and it's the season for magic. There's not a set formula as we all may wish giving instructions on how to wed Prince Charming or Cinderella. Fortunately there's experienced individuals determined to see you living happily ever after in this forum.
I am 4 months into a new relationship and have been married for 30 years before that. We love each other totally and are friends. He is in the middle of a divorce as i am. We just met and were friendly and then''fell''in love so easily. WEll, i find that because my husband was so nasty to me that i get insecure sometimes with my new man. I am highly sexed and he is not. He makes me feel i am coming on too strong when i am just being normal. I think he is the one who is not''normal''as we are so much in love and i can't wait to be with him. But he is less than enthusiatic sometimes and i tend to take it too personally and i get insecure and wind myself up in looking for things to verify that i am not the one for him. He has told me he asked someone out and pointed her out and then i have to go into the shop everyday and see her. He said that she had had a boyfriend so that was that. I feel that maybe she is the real one he wanted.. I just feel so sick sometimes with insecurity.help
It sounds like you're a right now kinda thing. You know what...I would recommend the book,"The Rules."One&Two. Check it out on Amazon, a cheap fast read and it will tell you exactly why you are being insecure. Also, either he isn't attracted to you physically, or you don't have the same level of desires. Even if he gives in to you, it sounds like you will always have to be chasing him...is that really what you want? To go from a mean man to one that isn't fully into you? Stay single til you find better....otherwise, don't complain, you can change things!!!!!!
You really love each other but he rejects you in a way that HE KNOWS makes you feel insecure. He also makes it a point to tell you he wanted another woman but got turned down and even points her out to you. Surely he is not so dense that he didn't think that would play into your insecurities. This man is manipulating you and feeding off your desperate need to feel the way you did not feel in your very long marriage. It also has not been very long since you split from your husband. Do you think that maybe you need to take some time to figure out what YOU want and what it is about YOU that allows the men in your life to make you feel less than steller about yourself?You have spent your entire life with a man that made you doubt who you are and feel insecure about yourself. It sounds like you traded him in for the exact same model.Take time to figure you out first and heal. You deserve nothing but the best and should never settle again, for anything less...Good luck!
It's possible you need to find someone else who is more compatible with you. I understand the feelings of insecurity but he should never have told you he asked out that woman. It sounds more like he should remain a friend and that's it. Find someone who can make you feel good about yourself as a person and satisfy your physical needs, too
This is only natural. After all you spent 30 years of your life in a secure relationship. You have every reason not to trust this bloke, especially if he has asked another woman out. I've been with my guy 3 years and I'm still finding out stuff, women he's been with etc. Unfortunately though we cannot really help you, but merely offer advice and its up to you if you take it or not. Personally I think the best thing you can do is talk to your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel, tell him about the insecurities and stuff, and if he loves you as much as you say he does, he will help you to work through them. If he doesn't, then you really need to think seriously about whether this guy is right for you. After all you have just come out of a very long relationship, and its only natural to need (although you may not want) some time to yourself. To enjoy the single life again. Go out with friends etc and then when you feel ready, you can try for another relationship, but only with someone who truly deserves you! Good luck. I hope it all turns out ok x
this man sounds like he is taking you for granted if he asked somebody else out. it also sounds like you have not been happy for a while and when people are not happy in their current relationship the tend to fall for the first person who shows them any affection would you consider taking a break from the relationship and maybe going to see a counsellor
Are you sure this is love or is it possibly that you wanted to be with somebody different because your soon to be ex-husband has been so nasty to you, and you are overwhelmed by the new guy because he's not the same. I am not doubting how you say that you feel,but trying to give you a perspective to view.My man is the more highly sexed one between us, but if he feels less enthused sometimes, he may be tired from work or stressed. He is going through a divorce, and would be understandable if this is the case because this is not a pleasant time for anybody. Try to relax and maybe talk to him. I think it's good he told you about this lady because that gives you an idea of what kind of person you are getting yourself involved with. You deserve to be first choice, not second.Be careful because you both are still married, and I have had this happen to me with me not being and the other person being, and it's a mess, but talk to him, and try to not be insecure because it will only drive you nuts, and nobody is worth you doing that to yourself over. Good Luck.
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