Relationship advice?? 4 yrs&potentially ending?

Dr25 · #1 (**permalink**) 12-23-2008, 10:35 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, we are in our late 20s. His last relationship ended about 6 yrs ago, she was his highschool sweetheart, they were together for 7 yrs. She broke his heart and never explained why it ended. About 3 yrs ago she contacted him, they emailed a bit, but cut off communication and she has still tried to get back with him since then. He has avoided her because its a very sore subject for me.What we are faced with now is some serious discussion about marriage and moving forward. I have always wondered if this girl takes up space in his head which prevents him from moving forward with me. Last night, he admits that he needs to see her to get"closure"and to make sure there are no feelings there so he can move forward with me and never look back. Is this acceptable? How do i handle this?Also, we had a vacation to Cabo set for this Thursday? Do we go? He wants to go enjoy eachother and deal with her when we get back.Advice?

cuthere1979 · #2 (**permalink**) 12-25-2008, 06:52 AM

Eh, I wouldn't stand for it. If he's been with you for four years and marriage is being discussed, he shouldn't have issues with a past love. If he's having doubts STILL, he always will.

Truth Hurts · #3 (**permalink**) 12-30-2008, 07:03 AM

How would he feel if you were going to see an ex for"CLOSURE"? Exactly. Ut's some bullshit!

arraya · #4 (**permalink**) 01-26-2009, 10:40 AM

definitely go on the vacation. If he needs to see her for closure, let him but watch for changes in his attitude afterwards. It might lead to something other than closure....

Sammi · #5 (**permalink**) 02-06-2009, 10:20 PM

No way!! Closure?? They've been broken up long enough for her to just be in the past.

unoirok · #6 (**permalink**) 02-23-2009, 10:40 PM

I would let him get closure but in a public environment like a coffee house so they cant get intimate. I would believe that he would realise not long after looking into her eye's that there are no feelings there. He will remember how much she hurt him. He may just want this opportunity to shut her down as she did him once upon a time. If he walks away from that happy and in love with you, it was worth it but if he walks away from the meeting wanting her and leaving you then it was also worth it. Take the chance! I doubt she will win...