Any advice for a married man who has sex frequency issues with wife?

loss the kids and cook here some dinner man

On average you should be having sex about once a week. After being married 12 years it's difficult to expect more than that. Stop whining.

She should go see her doctor. The pill can do this.

As for people who suggest candles, moonlight walks etc - that's fine but is not sustainable and cannot be done every day.

I had a birth control change and lost my drive for 7 months. It sucked.

EDIT to all the dummies who think sex doesn't matter you just watch when your hubby dumps you some day. Life could be worse than having a husband who wants lots of sex from you.

wow theirs more to life than sexy honey

Try 2 make things interesting, try out fantasies, not just yours but hers too. Im 31 n my girlfriend is 53, when we met we wasn't having sex at all and now i cant keep her off me

find new ways to charm her spice things up send her flowers at work that works for me

I'd ask her Way she isn't interested, if it's chemical then seek a doctor, but if it's you,like as in, she's not interested in you...then you better figure out why..or who she is "into"

Could it be that she is just not enjoying the experience? Have you tried to talk with her to see what she likes and what "gets her off"?

Try some foreplay and get her aroused.

Maybe she is just tired or depressed. Stay at home women get bored and depressed quite easily since they don't get out of the house very often and the kids can drive them up a wall.

Try taking her out to dinner and romance her a bit and see if she opens up? Give her a special night and see if that does the trick. If it does, you know the problem and just need to figure it out from there.

You'd really want your wife to take hormone pills (which usually come with serious side effects) just so you can get laid?
Whoa!

i dint know if its the pill, but i have no libido. ever. we've totally gone like 3 months or so without sex. i just could care less. I'd rather be sleeping. its sad. I'm only 25. i think it just becomes a cycle after a while. you just need to break it. try to decide one week that you guys are going to have sex x number of times (of course discusses it with her) and see if you can do it (or beat it!). knowing its kind of a game might help.

Not good enough. I wouldn't put up with keeping someone, and having them refuse normal intimate relations. It shows a complete disregard for a mans needs. Instead, I would seek it from elsewhere. After all, sex is normal (women are supposed to need it also).

Are you helping her around the house? Are you giving her lots of attention outside the bedroom? Most men tend to forget about what they use to do prior to getting married and that is why women do not put out. Try to do special things for her and help her with the chores and I bet things change but you cannot stop doing those things you keep continuing for the rest of your life. She should be doing the same as well.

Sex is usually a barometer for what's going on in the relationship. If your wife has lost her sex drive, chances are there is something deeper going on there. Perhaps you could take the focus off sex for a while and just start dating her again. Get a sitter and take her out to dinner or plan a weekend getaway just for the two of you. Or, perhaps you can stay with the kids once in a while and let her have some time out by herself? Sometimes stay at home moms can feel as though they're in a rut, or they may not feel so sexy. Spend time alone and help her to remember the things that attracted her to you in the first place. Help her feel like a woman again instead of just mom. If you nurture the friendship you have with her, pay genuine compliments and let her know how much you love her and how much she turns you on with NON SEXUAL gestures, chances are she will feel that spark and initiate some nooky on her own. Yes, my hubby and I have been there. With work, kids, and a life outside the bedroom sometimes things can get neglected between the sheets, but making it a focus and putting stress on each other to be inventive or get things going can backfire. Just a few tips, I hope ever thing works out for you!

Sir, she doesn't need medical treatments. She needs:

Help with the housework and two little kids (because she is always exhausted and then doesn't have enough energy for so much ex);

Romance (hire a sitter and take her out to dinner once a week) and help her relax. (Run her a bubble bath and do the dinner dishes and put the kids to bed while she's relaxing).

In other words, give her the rest she needs to get her libido up. That should give you the 2X a week you need. Try it.

i ha vent been married as long as you, but here are somethings me and my hubby have done: Watch 'adult' movies together, get some outfits, and my favorite is the sex dice. i like the dice better than my husband does. there are different kinds you can get, but i imagine they are all good for foreplay. it gets things slowly going, but they evenly distribute the loving.

Always an excuse too: too much stress, pressure, "too tired", etc. It's like living with a stranger sometimes, right?

Women just don't understand that men NEED physical contact as a sign of love. Words and deeds are nice, but if we are not having sex then we feel that you don't love us.

You can try being extra nice, flowers, helping around the house, just talking, and all that B S, but trust me -- it won't change her libido at all. 90% of us date a hooker and marry a nun. An women wonder why some men cheat.

Could be hormonal, she might talk to her doctor. Also, you do realize that it needs to be more romantic for a women than for a man. A massage, draw her a bubble bath, flowers, romantic movie. She is probably exhausted from the kids, believe me, been there and done that! One thinks a stay at home wife raising kids is easy, it is not! I went back to work to get a break!! Take her away for the weekend, or have the kids stay at her parents or your parents to give her a break one evening. Maybe every other weekend for one night if possible. If not, maybe a trusted friend or sitter. I am betting it is mostly pure exhaustion from the kids, they wear you out physically and mentally. She probably needs some time to take care of herself, she may be in a better mood if she got some time for herself several times a week, even if for a couple hours. Tell her to go get her nails done, or just walk around browsing at the store while you keep the kids 1 or 2 times a week. It can work wonders!

EDIT: Reading some of the other answers, trust me, when a women is so exhausted or even depressed and not into sex, the LAST thing she is doing is looking elsewhere. Those are statements from people who clearly do not understand a women. Also, don't look elsewhere, you have a good marriage, why ruin it by doing for another what you could do for her? You would have to somewhat court another anyway, why not invest in your wife! Like I said, she is just exhausted (which might depress her a bit and make her not feel beautiful either). Lighten the load. Make her feel like the greatest! Do it in love and sincerity!

I would say she's just freak in tired! help out more around the house and tell her she's beautiful or sexy or whatever -flirt alto